You could say that I’m the kind of girl who often finds herself in…”situations”. Sometimes they’re cool situations…sometimes they’re completely bizarre situations…sometimes they’re situations that make me cry (but in a funny ‘I Love Lucy’ “WAAAAAAAA!!!” way). In my worst, most panic-stricken moments, I often comfort myself with one thought:
This is going to make a really good story.
And that is why we’re here. I’d like to tell you a story from last night- because it’s fresh in my mind and because it’s incredibly apropos given my current ‘Barefoot Jess’ limbo* (More on that later. It’ll all make sense in the end, I promise). This story involves broken shoes and rock stars**…
First, I had the longest day ever yesterday. I had to go from Amelia’s end-of-the-year Awards Assembly, to work & then to a concert (Devon Allman Band, holla!) – all without going home. I put some serious thought into what I was going to wear. The clothing isn’t particularly important, but I was wearing some well-worn (comfy) strappy sandals (it’s pertinent). I left work and fought in-town traffic for an hour to do some errands, which all ended up being fails anyway. So, by the time I arrived at Vinyl for the show, I was hungry and marginally cranky. I’d arrived extremely early (due to the failed errands), so I figured that I’d park and walk somewhere to grab food. Easy.
After I did the ‘girl thing’- checked my hair, switched my purse- I got out and headed up to street level. As I was walking up the parking garage ramp, I noticed that one of the straps on my shoe felt loose and I thought ‘huh…I hope they last through the show’. Almost immediately, my entire left shoe gave out. It not only broke, it disintegrated. Every single strap came up and out from under the sole. And as this happened, I stumbled which OF COURSE caused my other shoe to break.
So, there I was, walking through the parking garage, barefoot, forlornly examining by shoes, SURE that there was a solution. It was a lost cause…the shoes were in pieces. I got to the sidewalk, found a wall to sit on and started brain-storming. I looked through my bag (poor, poor, silly girl). I texted the friend who was supposed to be meeting me to ask if she could bring some flip-flops, only to get a response that something had come up and she couldn’t make it (WAAA!). I started trying to figure out where the closest drug store would be (because when I think ‘cheap flip flops’, I think ‘drugstore’).
Had this been a sitcom, or some cheesy movie, this would have been the precise moment that I looked up to see the entire band crossing the street and walking toward me…and how embarrassing would that have been??
Oh wait, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.
But it wasn’t a big deal, because these guys don’t know me. They wouldn’t recognize me. Except for the one guy would would…the drummer, Anthony, who I’d met when I saw them play in Macon and with whom I’d become Facebook friends. He’d recognize me. And he did, despite my bad-ass avoidance tactic that I like to call “turning my face away and looking at my phone”. He may have called me a stalker….but I WAS sitting in front of the venue, without shoes, an hour before doors opened.
The good thing about being mildly acquainted with a member of the band is…you guessed it…they’ve got duct tape. So, we made conversation while I tried to strategically tape my shoes back together. And, in case you’ve never been in this position, let me assure you that there is no way to look
sane cool while taping your strappy sandals back together.
As it turned out, the tape didn’t work. As I got up to walk away, my shoe fell apart again. But I appreciate the
duct tape generosity. I would have taken pictures, but it was just too sad. I eventually realized that there was a Target near-by and I went and bought some flip flops…which I ended up kicking off 3 songs into the concert because, truth be told, I prefer dancing barefoot anyway.
So, there you have it. I’ve told the story. I’ve staked my claim. I am, without question…
— BAREFOOT JESS —
* I bought the domain ‘barefootjess.com’ six months ago because I was selling for Barefoot Books. Recently, I made the decision to leave the company. However, I still have this really clever domain name for another year and a half and people keep commenting that ‘Barefoot Jess’ is perfect for me (and I happen to agree). I’ve been bouncing ideas around for a couple weeks, trying to decide what to do. After last night, and thanks to a friend responding to this story with “Barefoot Jess has NOT retired!!!” (Thanks Kerri), I think the solution is pretty clear.
** These guys keep telling me that they’re not rock stars. But I don’t care, I’m still calling them rock stars. I think they’re rock stars…my kids think they’re rock stars. If you ever have the opportunity to see the Devon Allman Band live, do it. They put on a great show. And every single member of the band is an incredibly talented musician and solid guy. And, with that, I’m going to stop fan-girling out because I’m embarrassing myself.